Letting Criticism Make You Stronger (vlog)

Here’s my first-ever vlog. There’s also text below if you prefer.

*gulp*

I’ve seen several posts lately that had to do with criticism in some way or another. I wanted to share with you a technique for dealing with criticism that really works – when I’m willing to work it, anyway.

Criticism is hardest to deal with when it hits a sore spot. If you’re not confident about something in your life and someone criticizes that very thing, the criticism can confirm your worst fears (at least in your mind).

The key to dealing with criticism is to take two steps. First, take some deep breaths and get past the emotional reaction that you may be feeling. Being criticized feels like being attacked even if it’s not intended that way. Your natural reaction is to defend yourself – fight or flight.

In order to deal with criticism successfully, you have to get past those emotions and get to a place where you can look at the criticism logically. So you take some deep breaths, you go walk it off, you think about it for a few minutes and then go walk it off some more (or maybe that’s just me). Eventually, your emotions will subside and leave you able to look at the criticism logically.

Once you’ve reached a place where you’re using your logic and not your emotions, you’re ready for the second step. Look for the truth in the criticism.

You may not find any. It may be so silly, or so off base from what you want to accomplish, that all you can do is shrug it off. But that kind of criticism is not usually the type that affects your self-confidence.

When you do find some truth in the criticism – something that you really could have done better – you’ve found something that you can control. You can decide to improve that thing. You can decide to ignore it. It’s your choice.

By acknowledging the truth in the criticism and deciding for yourself what you’re going to do about it, you take away the power that the criticizer has over you. You give yourself that power, and it makes you stronger.






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19 thoughts on “Letting Criticism Make You Stronger (vlog)

  1. It’s great that you did your first vlog! I think you sounded really natural. Very good topic for the vlog too. I agree about looking at it from that point of view, it really isn’t easy but we have to get outside of our emotions sometimes and look at the bigger picture. A really good idea to think about using it for our *own* benefit.
    Ruth recently posted…How To Create A Content Outline (And Speed Up Your Writing)My Profile

  2. GREAT job Katie! You didn’t seem nervous at all :)
    Tiffany Dow recently posted…The Freaking Fantastic Blog and List Building Challenge Day 22My Profile

  3. Congrats on getting your first video done! Hurrah. It’s all onwards and upwards from here.

    Re: Criticism – The worst is when you get some from someone you really respect, especially if they say somthing in an offhand manner and don’t even realise how badly you have taken their input.

    That’s when you start second guessing yourself and it could even stop you in your tracks completely. I like the way you explain methods of working through the issue and how to deal with it logically.
    Victoria @ My Daily Cuppa recently posted…25 Things About MeMy Profile

    • That’s true, Victoria. When it’s someone you respect, you want to have them respect you, too. That kind of criticism can be difficult to deal with – but it can also be valuable if you can learn something from it.

  4. I never criticize to make a person feel insignificant or less appreciated. I always try to give what I call “constructive” criticism. Looking at something from an objective point of view – in a fashion where I think you haven’t looked at the situation.

    This provides a means for you to look at the subject matter through the eyes of someone else. At least, that’s how I try to approach it.

    I LOVE your first video! You’re a natural and have nothing to fear as far as looking nervous. If you were, it doesn’t show! Great job!

    P.S. Oops… getting an error from CommentLuv. Strange stuff. :)

    • Thanks, Bonnie!

      Personally, I find your criticism (or critique might be a better word) very helpful. You’re good at explaining the “why” behind your thinking, so I always feel like I’ve learned something useful. :-)

  5. 5,000th! I love it! Congrats on your first vlog. Acknowledging the truth and taking he power away is such a great tip. I was recently criticized on my vlog for something silly…not wearing makeup. Ugh…my thought was that I don’t wear makeup every day so why do I have to put makeup on for a video. But, I did exactly what you suggested. Acknowledged the truth – that yes, maybe I should wear makeup and made the decision to start wearing makeup – NOT so that I look more put together (which was the intention of the criticism) BUT because I feel more confident and feel that may messages are conveyed better when I’m more confident.
    Malia recently posted…3 Reasons Why I Tune Out of Your PresentationMy Profile

  6. Hi Katie,

    Congrats on your first vlog! You did an amazing job. Great topic for a first vlog too. Hope to see more soon.
    Cynthia Dixon recently posted…How to Upload an eBook to WordPress Video Tutorial and PDFMy Profile

  7. Hi Katie
    Really good vlog you looked really comfortable. Good information too, don’t react from your emotions (at least in public :)

    • Thanks, Barney. Yeah, reacting from your emotions in public can come back and bite you later, especially if you react all over the Internet. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to your feelings. Just that you should do some deep breathing or something before you go public with your reaction.

  8. What a great first vlog!! Save yourself a few takes next time too will ya? We here all like it when you make mistakes like the rest of us! LOL
    Debi J recently posted…Have You Lost Your Will to Fight?My Profile

    • Thanks, Debi! The problem is that I tend to stop in mid-sentence if I’m trying to figure something out. I’d be recording and realize that I was just sitting there, staring at the camera, not saying anything. Not a very interesting video :-) . So I’d start over … and over … and over.

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